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We Promise

October 12, 2020 by Young Scholars Academy Leave a Comment

When I had our first son, I had been working in Early Childhood Education for 7 years. I thought coming back to work and returning to “normal” would be a walk in the park. Boy…was I wrong! I lasted a whole 2 weeks and put in my notice so I could stay home with my baby. I was literally in the room right next to him but it was too difficult and I was fortunate enough to be able to make the decision to stay home with him. I had been doing this job for so many years but I had no idea what it meant to have all these parents trusting me with their babies.

Even under normal circumstances, we truly understand what we are asking of you when you leave your precious babies with us. It’s a lot. Whether you’re excited to return to work or not, leaving your baby in the care of someone else is hard. We’re asking you to put so much trust in our ability to love, care for and protect your little ones. In a pandemic though? It’s insanity.

I can tell you all that on our end, we’re missing the relationships with you as parents. I am personally still in contact with parents of babies I taught 10 plus years ago. It’s one of my favorite parts of the job and one thing I am lost without. So asking you to trust us when you hardly know us is a tall ask, and we are completely aware of that.
In light of this I’ve been talking with the other teachers in the building and we’ve come up with some promises to you as teachers and a lot have said some of the same things. Pandemic or not, here are some promises to you.

We promise to love your children as our own. We spend a large amount of time with your children. We get the reputation as babysitters but I promise it’s so much more than that. We get to know your children. We bond with them. We learn their cues and quirks. We truly love them.

We promise to advocate for your children and for you as well. Parenting is hard. I talk about all the advice (good and bad) and how hard it is to sift through that, but sometimes having us as another set of eyes is important. We’ll advocate for the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, and empower you to seek out answers for those struggles and ways to celebrate those wins. We have your backs. 100%.

We promise to communicate and keep you in the loop. We’re a team, and while this form of communication is new and challenging for a lot of us, we’re putting in the work to bring it all together. Messages, phone calls, pictures, conferences…we’re here for it all. Please feel comfortable reaching out to us to make those connections, and we promise to do the same.

This pandemic threw everyone for a loop, but even without it love, advocacy, empowerment and communication are definitely at the forefront of what we do here day in and day out. We promise.

Ms. Amy
Parent Connection Coordinator
Infant Nursery Supervisor

5 Ways to Give your Child Positive Attention

September 18, 2020 by Young Scholars Academy Leave a Comment

Studies show that when children receive positive attention from adults, it can have a drastic impact on their behavior. Giving children positive attention sometimes requires that we as parents alter our perspective. When we give children positive attention, it means we focus more on the good, and try to ignore (at least at the moment) the bad. The idea is that for children, receiving attention from a parent can be very powerful. So essentially, rather than telling them what they are doing wrong, highlight what they are doing right. It’s not an easy shift, but like anything else, it will only take a matter of time until it becomes more natural.

In practice, positive attention can be exhibited in many forms. It can be shown with the use of “power words” and affirmative gestures. It’s important for children to feel like they are on the right track and that their efforts are appreciated. Positive attention, in a larger context, mostly depends on how to implement it in a healthy way. Studies have also shown that when we are clear and specific with our words when giving positive attention, children understand more clearly what kinds of behaviors are expected and appropriate.

On a smaller scale, positive attention really isn’t as complicated as it may sound. It’s simply breaking down one thing into smaller pieces, kind of like expounding and picking things apart, but in a healthy way. Some experts refer to this as “labeled praises”. This approach actually makes it clear to your child exactly what it is you like about what they are doing. This type of praise provides a very specific, effective positive response.Here are a few helpful tips and reminders as you practice giving your child positive attention:

Avoid negative attention

Children thrive from receiving attention from adults. It is part of their nature. If they can’t get your attention by behaving appropriately, they will most likely try to get it by misbehaving. Try to do away with unpleasant words,or words that are discouraging. This part may be the most challenging because scolding a child is often what comes naturally initially. But in this case, see if you can ignore the negative behavior, and then provide positive attention when they stop. This is called active ignoring. By withdrawing your attention when children behave poorly, it sends a message that they need to stop what they are doing for them to be able to get the attention they are seeking.

Be spontaneous when giving positive attention

Children often crave attention as much as adults do. Who doesn’t, right? You know how some things are a lot sweeter and meaningful when they occur unexpectedly? Make it a habit to give out unsolicited affirmations, as this will have a great effect on your child’s mood. Try to put yourself in your child’s shoes. If you are shown appreciation by someone, your mood will usually be lifted.

Create a positive environment

When children grow up in a warm, nurturing environment, it promotes a holistic growth. The tone you set at home should be positive, as this is essential for a child’s drive to be his or her bestelf. Doing so inspires children and will usually bring out their best. Whether your child is at home or at school, a positive atmosphere is beneficial to his or her social-emotional well-being and disposition.

Acknowledge

With every little accomplishment, acknowledge. Your child’s little victories are yours too. Every step, no matter how big or small, must always count. From things that they do right, to the littlest of achievements, acknowledge.

Create a stronger bond

It can be quite challenging as you try to transition to a new approach and break the habit of making unnecessary comments every time your child misbehaves. Keeping your cool may be difficult, but in the long run it is necessary. Just like any other habit, achieving this change can be achieved through constant application. Try choosing and writing down your choice of words ahead of time for moments when you find yourself caught in a tough situation. It is also helpful to allot at least 10-15 minutes a day when you can give your child your full, undivided attention. Create a list of fun activities together that you and your child can do each day. For example, you could play a card game. When you choose an activity, you can make it fun and nurturing at the same time. Other ideas include board games, arts and crafts, playing make-believe, or dress-up. This will not only be helpful in creating a strong bond between you and your child, it will also remind you of your own childhood and help you stay young at heart.

Giving children positive attention may seem hard to do at first, but it can be as easy as counting to three. Giving your child positive attention is all about speaking and using kind words. The goal of this approach is to create a healthy relationship between you and your child.

It always pays to know more. For more helpful parenting tips, please visit us at Young Scholars Academy.

What is Mindful Parenting and 5 Ways You Can Practice it

August 24, 2020 by Young Scholars Academy Leave a Comment

Parenting may not be rocket science, but oftentimes, we may get caught off guard when we encounter challenging moments. This can cause us to give in to our emotions, the outcome of which may be ugly and unhealthy. That’s where the concept of “Mindful Parenting” comes to play. Mindful parenting is when parents give conscious attention to their children’s actions as well as their own actions towards their children. It is important to remember that you are the parent, and the number one rule for mindful parenting is to never engage in an incident when your child is exhibiting behavior that might cause you to react emotionally. Parents need to take a firm stand on things, especially when making a point. No matter the circumstance, it’s best to “Respond, not react.”

A child’s upbringing is crucial to their psychological development. If there’s one thing a child craves during these pivotal early stages of development, it’s attention. This plays a significant role in discussions about mindful parenting. For many children, gaining attention from a parent is bliss. It can feel like their favorite candy bar or ice cream. They crave it. They have to have it. Have you ever noticed how young children may act stubborn and misbehave at times? It may be their way of trying to get your attention. As the saying goes, “You can’t give what you don’t have.” It’s exactly the same with mindful parenting. Be attentive, so you can give attention.

Parenting is multi-faceted. And just like any other responsibilities, parenting comes with its own set of challenges and processes. Emotional management plays a big role in effective mindful parenting. For example, you yourself need to be regulated first before imposing regulation on others. Effective parenting can’t be delivered if you as the parent are unstable, stressed, or simply not your best self. Remember, the energy you give out to your child is the same energy (or less) you will receive.

Also, bear in mind that attention is “currency” when it comes to establishing a nurturing relationship with children. Mindful parenting isn’t as complicated as it seems. Some may relate this kind of parenting as Authoritative Parenting. This is said to be the most effective among the 4 types of parenting styles. It’s been claimed to have positive effects on the child’s social-emotional wellbeing, academic progress, and behavior. Try to remember that there is a fine line between being too strict and being too lax.

When parents who “spoil” their children, this is often misconstrued as bad parenting, or it could be the other way around. Some parents tend to spoil their children because they think it’s a good way of being present. The key is finding the right balance between love and discipline. It is a tricky process, yes. Quite challenging, too! But here are five good strategies that may help you become more effective in mindful parenting:

Be present for your children. Always, all ways

Being present means, again, giving your child as much attention as you can. Receiving attending is a fundamental need for little ones, and it is essential for their emotional development and growth. Their constant need for attention is also their unconscious way of asking for love. So if your child surprises you with whining or with an attitude, this could be a signal for you.

Find the right balance between love, respect, understanding, and discipline

This might be the trickiest part! This involves the delicate process of setting boundaries and expectations. Just be careful not to overdo it! Find ways to give your child credit for making positive choices, and try not to be overly critical of their mistakes. Remember that it’s also essential for their self-esteem and self-confidence as children learn to receive both criticism and praise equally with grace. Too much of either can make them, or break them.

Keep your cool

Anger is actually a healthy emotion when used sparingly. Our brain has a natural response to a certain emotion, especially when it is triggered. Try to notice and get a hold of your thoughts, especially when they are negative ones. These are the types that may amplify your feelings in a certain way. Try your hardest to do away with over-generalizing, “mind-reading”, and especially blaming.

The longer the patience, the lesser the drama

As the saying goes, “Patience is a virtue.” In this equation, patience really is gold. It is one of the core elements of parenting. Exhibiting patience requires a lot of understanding and self-control. Of course, children need their parents’ utmost understanding, especially at a time when they still have a lot to learn.

Embrace the imperfection

Nobody’s perfect. Human as we are, we all have flaws, and we all make mistakes. There’s also no such thing as perfect parenting. Children have a lot to learn from their parents, and parents also have a lot to learn from their children. A parent-child relationship is a give and take thing but either way, it can be a win-win situation. Like all things in this world, everything is a process. Everything takes time, and nothing is perfect.

Parenting in general is really quite a challenge, especially when it comes to figuring out what kind of approach best works for you and your children. Whichever method you choose, these mindful parenting strategies are surefire ways to improve your approach to parenting.

For more helpful and effective parenting tips, feel free to visit Young Scholars Academy.

Meaningful Conversations with Our Littles

July 2, 2020 by Young Scholars Academy Leave a Comment

Let’s shed light on what is going on in our world with our children. It is more important to have these conversations with our children than to shield them from what is going on. This is how we make change in the world. We can not keep shushing our children when they have questions and expect them to grow up and know the right way to handle things. This needs to be one of the “hard conversations” that DOES happen in every child’s life; just as you will have the conversation about their bodies and how they are different as boys or girls. Even if you do not want to do it, as parents, it is a part of the job.

It should make you feel more comfortable knowing that you will be teaching your child about races, skin color, tolerance, acceptance, and kindness in a way that you are comfortable with. This way you teach what you feel is right. Once children learn something new the first things that they hear are more likely to stick. This way you are choosing when and where to have these conversations. The where does not matter as much as the when. Make time for these concepts to settle in and definitely make time for questions. Let them know that this is a safe space to discuss anything that they want to know. Kid’s hearts are always in the right place so do not jump at them no matter what they have to say or ask. This is the opportunity you have then to correct them and let them know if how they are describing someone is unkind. It is okay to talk about skin color, culture, and differences. Being color blind is not the best way to be. People do not want to blend in and forget about where they came from. Our differences should be celebrated and talked about in respectful ways.

There are so many children’s books that give you the best words to pass onto children. Here is a list of some of my favorites to help you on this journey:

“Say Something” by Peter H. Reynolds- each page touches on a way that you can express your feelings in a way that you are comfortable. It reiterates that every person has something to say and if you really believe in it you have the power to make others listen too. It tells kids to stick up for themselves and what they believe in.

“Be You!” by Peter H. Reynolds- This feel good book lets kids know that no matter who they choose to be they should be able to fully express it. Love yourself for just being you! It tells about all the ways that people may be, and to be kind to that person for just being themselves.

“I am Human: A book of Empathy” by Susan Verde Illustrated by Peter H. Reynolds- tells us how to be us, love ourselves, be kind and think of others all while making mistakes because we are only human. We can all connect with one another and that connects us to the whole world.

“Mixed Me!” by Taye Diggs- This book will surely make you and your child smile; especially if this really touches on your family. I love this book because this is my family, and I had another teacher tell me that this book was her! And I loved seeing that excitement even in an adult’s eyes.

“Mommy, Mama, and Me”- A board book showing how wonderful it is to have two mothers. They each do things for the child as any child would expect from parents. It is a loving, feel good story that just shows the love of a family.

“My Two Dads: A book of Adoption”- Beautiful story of how 3 people become a family. Reading books such as these normalizes every kind of family dynamic without having to be over the top or be in fear of saying the wrong thing to our children. Our children will be exposed, so send them off into the world full of love for everyone.

I hope that this inspires you to feel ready to speak with your children about how to change the world. I have so much hope and love for each child that will one day be our leading generation. I have many more book recommendations, so please feel free to reach out if you are in need.

Ms. Brooke

Lead Prekindergarten Teacher
Literacy Coordinator
Curriculum Coordinator

Mental health is more than feelings and triggers

July 2, 2020 by Young Scholars Academy Leave a Comment

Mental health one of those things that people most of the time, do not want to talk about. Instead they bottle all those feelings up inside and they eat away at them. What some do not understand is that mental health is more than feelings and triggers, there are many moving parts that add to the stress and anxiety of many. For the month of July, we will be focusing on mental health, a challenge was created to help cope with mental health. This challenge will be shared with you all and I encourage you to try it out and see how some of these activities may work for you.

Stress can be triggered by many factors but what some don’t understand is that it can lead to bigger issues and trigger anxiety or depression. Now as parents we are always go, go, go. However, what happens when you simply get into a funk and cant seem to get out of it. What helps you to break through that spot that has you stuck and thinking how did it get to this point? For me, I tend to get inside my head a lot, thinking oh no I didn’t do that right or that could have been accomplished so much faster. I don’t give myself enough credit and at times am my own worst critic. What I need to start doing is lifting myself up and that will help when I get into a slump.

Instead of saying to yourself do better, work faster, or you know better. Tell yourself you got this, that was great you accomplished your to do list while taking care of the kids and still meeting their needs. There may be times when you can only get to one goal or so many items on your to do list, that is totally ok! You accomplished that one task or goal while still taking care of the daily chaos. We don’t give ourselves enough credit sometimes and I am notorious for that as well. Slow down take those extra minutes to soak in the sun or hang back. Learn to schedule things around you, don’t overpack yourself with things to do on the weekends. Set short term goals that help you accomplish the immediate tasks at hand.

I encourage you all to take that day for yourself, set the phone down for the day and got outside. Try that healthy recipe if only to say you did it! Try out some new exercises and create a space for you, a place you can go to when you feel yourself slipping out of control. TALK about your feelings it is ok to simply not be ok. But holding it in will only make things worse. Lean on your tribe in times of need. You are never alone, WE are here for you!

Ms. Brittani

Lead Early Preschool Teacher
Wellness Coordinator