So, you have that one little cutie in your life. You think you couldn’t possibly love another like that first. You think you have it all figured out with that one little love. However, you decided you want to grow that little family and add another child.
To me, your heart expands when you have a second child. You don’t replace the love for the first. You allow more room in your heart and you fall head over heels all over again. But with all that said, it is a whole different journey with two.
First off, grow eyes in the back of your head and maybe an extra pair of arms. It is a blessing to have multiple children for parents and siblings. But the work load doesn’t just double, but maybe even triples. When you have one settled the other one needs something. I find success by carving out one on one time with each child.
It is a very different world for the oldest sibling to welcome a new addition into their world. So, let them be a part of that change and welcome their help with your new bundle of joy. Make the older siblings big helpers let them play a pivotal role in the baby’s life.
The first child isn’t used to sharing attention or time. The first child needs to know he is still important and loved. Giving him his own one on one time allows him to know you still love and care for him. Also, even a toddler sibling can help with the care of their new sibling. This makes them feel important and part of the change.
Routine is also a major helper with maintaining the chaos of new baby and siblings. Establish a routine early and stick to it as much as possible. Even as adults we like to know what to expect from day to day. Children are no different. When things are going to be different discuss how the day is going to look for your children. This doesn’t only allow for children to adjust but also builds amazing vocabulary and communication skills. Routine helps everyone feel in control of the day.
You still need you time. Welcoming another addition in the family can be very overwhelming for everyone involved. It is especially time consuming for mom. However, you still need to be beyond mom. You need to be an individual that still carves out a little time for yourself. This can mean half an hour for reading or just time reflecting on the day. Personal health is just as important as the health of the little people in your stead.
Beyond all else remember that each of your children just need to feel loved and respected. It is a big change for all involved to welcome a new addition to the family. It is a blessing for all involved even in the time of chaos. Remember even in the craziest of times that you can do this and embrace each minute.
-Ms. Michaela R.
Child Success Advocate