From the very moment you find out that your pregnant you start questioning yourself. What did you eat last night? Didn’t you have a drink with some friends last week? Is my baby going to be okay? And that is the just the beginning.
First let me say if you are concerned about what is going on with your child… you’re doing it right. Often moms feel guilty for choices that they make regarding their child’s life and their own life. Let’s not even talk about the parent shaming that comes along with parenthood. (maybe another time)
Nevertheless, here are five things that moms feel guilty about and they really shouldn’t.
1. Natural Delivery vs C Section
How you brought your baby into this world shouldn’t be an issue however some mothers feel that they didn’t succeed in their first role in motherhood because they didn’t have a natural birth. That is so far from the truth. Often, mothers have no choice in the matter.They put their baby first. Either way of delivery, you brought them into the world.
Welcome to motherhood.
2. Formula vs Breastfeeding
Now you’ve had your baby, and everyone is chiming in how you should feed your baby. Don’t get me wrong I agree that breast is best, however I am firm in my opinion that it is a choice for the mother to make. Regardless if your formula feeding or breast feeding your baby, you are feeding your child how can anyone find fault in that.
3. Being a Working Mom
Things aren’t like they used to be. Moms are no longer staying home and taken care of the house, we are jumping right back into our jobs and careers. We often feel guilty about going back to work. We question if our baby is ready to be away from us or really, if we are ready to be away from them? This is normal. You love your baby, you wish you could spend all day with them, but the truth is you must work. Most families have no choice than for both parents to be working full-time. Or if they are a single mother, going back to work is essential for the livelihood of the family. Helping to provide for the family or being a sole provider is not something moms should feel guilty about.
4. Alone Time
When we become mothers we often give up everything that make us who we are to become the mother that our children need. You find that a lot of your alone time is in the shower. Well, if you can get that. Its important that you make time for you. Yes, you’re a mom but you are also a person, a human. Being a mom is just a piece of your identity. You need your alone time that’s just for you. Go grab a cup of coffee before going to the grocery store or enjoy a pedicure with a friend. I like to get up an hour before everyone else and have that time alone in the mornings. Whatever it is remember that you must take care of your mind, body and soul to be able to take care of others.
5. Not Cooking Dinner
If you’re like me, your constantly on the go with a laundry list of things to do. Some days you start by waking up and getting ready, get children ready for school, go to work, come home and clean house and start laundry then you head to the children’s sports practices and by the end of the day cooking dinner just seems like such a daunting task, so you swing by a restaurant and grab some take out. Don’t feel guilty about this, it not like you’re not feeding your family or doing this every night. Plus, the occasional help with dinner not only saves you time in the kitchen but it will also give you a little extra time with your family.
When it comes to mommy guilt, the best thing that we can do is let go of it. Motherhood is a journey some joke that it’s a survival sport. There is no “perfect mom”. Not one of us received an instruction manual or a how to guide, we are all doing are very best to do what’s best for our children, our families and our lives.
-Ms. Sarah W.
Professional Development Coordinator